a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work
so i took a thermometer and went to the bathroom and stood in front of the toilet with the thermometer in my hands and screamed and then yelled “i’m pregnant” in exasperation so my mom came running and snatched the thermometer from my hands and then she realized it was a thermometer
- mom: did you get home safe?
- me: no i died a few times